#REALTALK: The struggles of being an introverted single

 

As Joen San Diego‘s posts became viral in the Filipino blogging world, God revealed me two things:

 

ONE: Your struggles can be a doorway to show God’s Victory in your life

Say what??!

Opening up to strangers like you (or even to a few friends who took the time to read this) is very hard for an introvert like me.

Two years ago, I have been maintaining a blog that ran for two years. I was an incognito blogger at WordPress. I hid my account from my friends and poured my soul out as I tried to move on from an ex-boyfriend of more than a year. It was a time of great heartbreak as I thought he was The One.

I needed to find an avenue to release all the pent up sadness and frustrations in me yet I didn’t want others to see me as the melodramatic person that I was. So I hid my blog.

After fully surrendering myself to the Lordship of the Great Almighty, I found my heart at its best place. But I am a work-in-progress and God showed me a revelation a few weeks back. He told me how much I have been hiding my loneliness and longing for God’s Best from the world.

I clearly remember that moment when I heard His voice telling me that “Child, why are you not sharing your testimony to the world? Don’t you know how many lives you can touch by sharing how you are finding contentment in Me? Do you know how many people you can uplift by showing how I am fixing your heart right now? Can you see how many lives I can change if you let Me use you through your season of waiting?”

 

And as I type out these words, my heart is beating at a fast pace, my palms are sweaty and I know I am not ready to share all these to you. Nonetheless He is my Father. He knows what’s best for me. I know that without doubt and hesitation, I must follow Him.

And I will because of my overwhelming love and trust for Him.

So here’s this blogpost. 🙂

 

 

TWO: Embrace your season of waiting

Our season of waiting is such a roller coaster ride. It is not the kind of waiting you do when you are on a boring loooong line waiting for your ride to come and just letting time pass by.

This one is the type that shoots you up at an all-time high. You get to spend all your time with your friends and family, travel and see the world, and be immersed in God’s beauty and love.

Sadly, this type of waiting also plummets you down at a never-ending low. There are nights where you just find yourself crying in bed until you fall asleep. You walk the streets of Makati wondering an endless set of what-if’s as you pass by couples after couples showing PDA. Do I need to add our hearts whispering “shanabashanabshanaba?”

Waiting is indeed such a grueling task.

But friend, listen to this. God is our ultimate source of comfort. His rod and His staff, it comforts us (Psalm 23:4). His yoke is easy and His burden is light (Matthew 11:28). There are countless of verses you can find in the Bible that says how we can find rest in God. So go and seek your rest in Him.

Just today, I reread again these letters pinned in my mood board:

Sorry I failed to enter the sources. I promise to blog about the books I’m reading. I’m sure I picked them somewhere there



“It’s alright, little child. Just rest your head on My shoulder. I will take care of you. This world is always in a hurry, but I teach My children PATIENCE. Live, expecting a full and JOYOUS LIFE. And learn to trust My perfect timing so that you may discover that all the pain found in waiting HAS A MAGNIFICENT AND AWESOME PURPOSE.

*stress mine

               

“Can you believe that I’m capable of leading you to that right man someday? … Can you also believe that I am the God of all creation? I know you better than you know yourself, and I am PERFECTLY ABLE to bring this man into your life in My own time, in My own way…”

These things are ways to remind me God’s promises to me. That finding my Jerusalem is already written in God’s book. That I do not have to worry and live a life of doubt because in Him, it is finished.

So I leave you with this verses:

“Be still, and know that I am God”

-Psalm 46:10

 

“In repentance and rest is Your salvation, in quietness and trust is my strength.”

–          Isaiah 30:15

 

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