Probably for the past 24 hours, Pat and I have been chatting about our girl crushes.
As I was contemplating about my list, I asked myself why Sarah Kay didn’t make the list.
And I said to myself, “No, Sarah Kay isn’t just someone to crush on, Sarah Kay is the voice in your head that you’d like to soak in on nights like this.”
So there I was, in my bed, imagining a noise canceling headphone on my head, delving deep into my favorite poet’s words as she recites her poignant, witty and exuberant poems about life.
I mentally listed the poems I’d like to listen to tonight.
Just before I actually got hold of my phone and played poems such as If I should have a daughter, Mrs. Ribeiro, and Useless Bay a thought struck me.
No man will ever love me for being such a weirdo.
This thought was sadly inspired by a guy who has known me since high school.
He said that he couldn’t keep up with my introverted world and weird thoughts and what nots.
And that really struck home to me.
No man will ever love me.
The thought repeated itself after much mental struggle and prayers.
NO MAN WILL EVER LOVE ME.
Have you ever been in that cycle? A cycle so vicious that you feel like your soul is being taken from the ground by a horrifying tornado? That no matter how much you grope on something to hold unto, the tornado just brings you off higher and higher from the ground?
I have been swept off by that thought tonight.
But by these words, I believe God will put me back on my ground again.
He said in Joshua 21:45
Not one of the good promises which the LORD had made to the house of Israel failed; all came to pass.
And by faith, tonight, I am declaring the fulfillment of God’s promises to me. The one He gave me two years ago. That one day, I will settle and marry.
This be to the glory of God! AMEN AMEN