How wrong is it to say that I’m an insomniac when the truth of the matter is I have indulged myself with too much coffee again – plus that cake because it was somebody’s birthday.
Here’s another one of my indulgence – I get overly infatuated with someone.
– I daydream of him incessantly
– I wait for his chat for hours on end
– I ask over and over and OVER again for God to make him THE ONE
and all of these are quite wrong.
It breaks my heart to actually admit it but I have crossed so many lines because of this overindulgence. This is me choosing to live with the desires of my flesh and blood.
How does this affect my relationship with God?
– instead of spending my mornings and nights for devotion, I am floating in dreamland picturing a happily-ever-after that God might never orchestrate because His plans are far more good, pleasing, and perfect than what I could ever imagine
– my life as a living sacrifice (my
sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life as per the message version) has been wholly compromised because of the idolatry in my heart
So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
Romans 12:1-2 MSG
– I have lost my lordship with God because my desire to be with someone was greater than my desire to put God first in my heart.
So first, I would like to repent for my actions for the past weeks. I am utterly ashamed to say that I have walked the sinful way.
But now that I have been made aware by God of my sinful acts, I am thankful that His mercies are new every morning.
– I can trust Him that because of His gracious love for a sinner like me, I can now go back to Him in full communion
– through the Holy Spirit, I can live a life of worship in both mind, body and spirit
– My identity as His daughter is still intact regardless of my sins. And because of that identity, He has given me, I have been made perfect by the blood of Christ.
No man will ever complete me. Only God will.
I don’t need to spend days in dreamland because God has already written in His book the perfect time, place and person whom I’ll call His Best for me.
And God hears the desires of my heart. I don’t need to beg. I just need to trust.