This is a throwback post originally entitled JUST SOMEONE PLEASE
This is one truthful post.
Wandering in an alternative universe
I miss being loved. I wish there could just be this one guy who’d turn up on my doorstep who’d be willing to give me a hug when I feel down and tired. I wish someone could just appear out of nowhere with midnight snacks as I toil away in the middle of the night. I wish I could conjure out of thin air someone who’d fit my Done Deals for a boyfriend.
And it seems like if there’s one thing consistent in my life, it’s that I am waiting for someone and I have totally no idea who could he be. I can’t see him from any of my friends. Well, at least, not now. So could he be someone who’ll I meet at a coffee shop or someone I’ve been passing by the streets for months already? Sometimes, I wonder if we’ve ever rode the same jeep, stood up in the aisle in one particular jam packed bus ride, or fell in the same line. Have I ever shared with him a smile during this 23 years of existence? Have we heard the same preaching from the same priest at the same church? Have we liked the same video in youtube or listened to a bad singer in the karaoke? Has he ever came across any of my posts from the many social networking sites out there? Could he be reading this?
As much as I’d like to let my thoughts wander even farther, I can’t. I can’t live my life wishing and hoping for someone to enter my life when it’s not yet the right time. I don’t want to ruin the experience of a completely perfect novel just ‘coz I got impatient in reaching the ending (or the start of a new chapter) by taking peek at who is the protagonist’s partner.
So as I force myself to go back in the zone, I’ll leave my post here and probably let the alternative me in an alternative universe do the wandering for me. For now, I’d like to live in the present – to bask in with the music and traffic sounds in this small milktea shop.